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Sledovať
Srandičky v angličtine
This old woman, Myrna, was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked, "What did you steal?" She replied, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail."
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband, Dean, spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, "What is it?"
Dean said, "She also stole a can of peas
obrázok sa mi nepodarilo priložiť :-(
The judge then said, "I will then give you 6 days in jail."
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband, Dean, spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, "What is it?"
Dean said, "She also stole a can of peas
obrázok sa mi nepodarilo priložiť :-(
Naposledy upravil Nika : 23.03.07 at 19:23
Hľadať v debate
banker 
A dalsia fin. srandicka pre investorov a drzitelov USD, ale je potrebna znalost angliny
Akosi sa s nimi roztrhlo vrece
http://tinyurl.com/2f8gwx
Be vigilant, but do not panic yet!
banker
Akosi sa s nimi roztrhlo vrece
http://tinyurl.com/2f8gwx
Be vigilant, but do not panic yet!
banker
Priloha - sucasna mlada PC boom generation za 40 rokov. A.... nesedte tolko za tym PC aj VY, lebo dopadnete obdobne
b.
Dolar pada, zlato ide k 850USD/oz, ekonomicke problemy sa zacnu vyhrocovat...Nastane ekon. korekcia, krach fin. trhov atd.? Potom sa vsetci tak budu smiat, ze az nakioniec budu plakat 
http://www.g-vision.sk/dual/
FTS
http://www.g-vision.sk/dual/
FTS
Zopar srandiciek a hraciek pre bohatych .. dalo by sa vybrat, nie?
http://www.g-vision.sk/dual/egg/rychle-kone-i/
b.
.. dalo by sa vybrat, nie?http://www.g-vision.sk/dual/egg/rychle-kone-i/
b.
banker
Dolar pada, zlato ide k 850USD/oz, ekonomicke problemy sa zacnu vyhrocovat...Nastane ekon. korekcia, krach fin. trhov atd.? Potom sa vsetci tak budu smiat, ze az nakioniec budu plakat
http://www.g-vision.sk/dual/
FTS
http://www.g-vision.sk/dual/
FTS
"To chce klid..."
b.
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A
senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car
and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
O fficer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
Th e woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have
a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A
senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman
steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car
and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
O fficer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
Th e woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have
a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
Chilly Question & Ans.
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday
*********
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
*********
Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
*********
Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
*********
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
*********
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
*********
Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
*********
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
*********
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday
*********
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black?
Customer: What other colors do you have?
*********
Manager: Sorry, but i can't give u a job. I don't need much help.
Job Applicant: That's all right. In fact I'm just the right person in this case. You see, I won't be of much help anyway!!
*********
Dad: Son, what do u want for ur birthday?
Son: Not much dad, Just a radio with a sports car around it.
*********
Diner: I can't eat such a rotten chicken. Call the manager!
Waiter: It's no use. He won't eat it either.
*********
Diner: You'll drive me to my grave!
Waiter: Well, you don't expect to walk there, do you?
*********
Husband: U know, wife, our son got his brain from me.
Wife: I think he did, I've still got mine with me!
*********
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry. If no one claims it within three days, you can keep it.
*********
Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!
'Hey Sipho! I have a cow for you for just R500!'
'E yoh, Bongani! I'll take it - you can bring it to me tomorrow!'
The next day:
'Sorry Sipho, but the cow died last night.'
'Hauw.. So, ok then. Just give me my money back.'
'Sorry Sipho, I did already spend that money..'
'Eish! So, ok then. Just bring me the dead cow.' So, Bongani brought
the dead cow to Sipho the next morning.
A few weeks later, Bongani bumped into Sipho and asked him what he did with the dead cow:
'You won't believe, Bongani! I made a raffle for the cow, and I sold
270 tickets for R5 each! I made a profit of R850! But, I didn't tell
anyone the cow was dead..'
'Yoh! And the people didn't complain?'
'Eish! Only the guy which won! So, I gave him back his R5 and he was happy!'
Sipho is now in parliament..
'E yoh, Bongani! I'll take it - you can bring it to me tomorrow!'
The next day:
'Sorry Sipho, but the cow died last night.'
'Hauw.. So, ok then. Just give me my money back.'
'Sorry Sipho, I did already spend that money..'
'Eish! So, ok then. Just bring me the dead cow.' So, Bongani brought
the dead cow to Sipho the next morning.
A few weeks later, Bongani bumped into Sipho and asked him what he did with the dead cow:
'You won't believe, Bongani! I made a raffle for the cow, and I sold
270 tickets for R5 each! I made a profit of R850! But, I didn't tell
anyone the cow was dead..'
'Yoh! And the people didn't complain?'
'Eish! Only the guy which won! So, I gave him back his R5 and he was happy!'
Sipho is now in parliament..
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